Just had some...
Offloaded kids w in-laws again, but feel guilty because the original reason was a work trip. Trip was cancelled, and we didn't tell em. Then this am, Seb woke up w fever and we STILL brought them over. But I (and TIziano) DESPERATELY needed some down, childless time.
The cherry on the cake is that TIziano works the night shift tonight... Yes, the whole house for ME, ME, ME, ME. LOVIN' IT!
I just had a nice warm bubble bath with a glass of good red wine (on an empty stomach...), listening to my ambient playlist, and I am feeling guuuuuuuud.
Spent the whole day getting mommy colleagues to affirm that it was OKAY to lie to my in-laws, even with a feverish child. I needed it. They needed it. Everything would be better this way. And right now, it is. I so crave some alone time, me time. I am tired of being a mom. Even when I rest up, it seems like it is never enough to get excited again about having two small children. All my conviction of having a large family has COMPLETELY disappeared. Crazy. Now, I envy my childless friends. Will that go away? No idea. Maybe when my accumulated exhaustion wears off, I will be excited again about being a parent.
Anyway, this is a motherland blog, and I am going to pretend I am not a mother for a few days. (well, pumping my milk 4 times a day will be a reminder... but otherwise, not a mommy!!!!)
Over and out! The couch and TV are calling my name...