Thursday, 19 April 2012

MIL dread

What an infernal 3 days I had when MIL was here. WOWZA. Never thought it could get so bad. She's always been so kind, generous, albeit half-deaf and set in her ways. She's always been a little tough to handle when it's raining - it affects her mood so completely, and she just can't overcome it. Especially during tough times (and these are tough times).

But this time ... WOWZA.

My bro-in-law is divorcing and moving into an apartment. Yes, this is a tragic life event. But my MIL's biggest concern, and one that she holds over our heads, is that there's no one to iron his shirts and prepare his meals. When she goes up to the house, all she sees is what's not done, that her other son will be living in a space that is half the size of our bedroom, etc. Bro -in-law once called her to ask her opinion about what size bed to take. And she was so upset that she couldn't be there to help him decide.

She did NOT want to be here helping us, and she even said so. She did NOT want to take the boys, and she said so.

Did I mention that bro-in-law is a 46-year-old man? That he works in construction? That he works every other day? that he makes double what hubby makes at the fire station?

She's invented excuses to make sure we pick up the boys at 9am sharp on the chosen day. And she's started, as most MILs are wont to do, to passive-aggressively criticize everything I do, say, or don't do, and don't say.

The other day, we went up to see the house, and on the way down, she insisted on stopping so she could pick up a sandwich for herself - she doesn't need anything else. Can you believe this? I was engorged, Nicolas was going to wake up any moment, Lucas is allergic, and she wants me to stop so SHE can buy herself a sandwich. Meanwhile, when I asked her what we should have for lunch, she said, 'I don't know, you didn't tell me anything!' So I had to take out a container from the freezer, when she KNEW that I was saving those for when I was alone with the boys and in a jam.

Moreover, she's started guilt-tripping, that she's not 20 yrs old anymore, that all she wants is respect, while she blatantly disrespects me. She was like this after Lucas was born, but abandoned me at 3 weeks.

Now she's gotten to that state at less than a week.

I am NEVER going to have her over again. She can go iron her 46-year-old son's shirts for the rest of her days, if helping us when it's raining is so tough on her.


third's a charm!

I am terrified of jinxing it, but I have to express my utter amazement, appreciation, gratitude, joy, incredulity at my amazing luck. Nicolas sleep 6-hour stretches at night, is calm, eats well, and doesn't need soother or overly-excessive carrying.

And I am at a complete loss of how this is possible after the hyper-stressful pregnancy I had. I have yelled bloody murder 4 days out of 7 for the past 6 months, have been in a state of intense anxiety with work, the house, Lucas's eczema, my own insomnia and the dread of taking on the challenge of a newborn in this environment. Not to mention the stress of my mom's hospitalization in the last 6 weeks of pregnancy.

And yet, Nicolas is serene, and he emanates tranquility. Hubby and MIL also notice it.

Please, please, please, please, please let this be true and not some oasis of peace before some storm hits!!!

Monday, 16 April 2012

The joys of engorgement

Not. Am sitting here waiting for newborn Nick to wake up so I can get some relief for Right Boob. I am trying to be as happy as I can be that he's eating every 3.5 hours and sleeping well, but if he goes a minute past 3.5 hours, I start to get antsy. Do I go to the trouble of hot pads? How long can this boob withstand engorgement before I end up with mastitis? Should I wake him up? What can I do that can be stopped in an instant cuz he'll surely wake up any second now. And when he does, he'll be screaming high murder from hunger!

Thankfully, I am on day 2 of the Milk Coming In. And Left Boob is almost synchronized with Nick. Pebble-like engorgments are evenly distributed throughout Boob, instead of being a uniform slab of porn-star-dimension granite. Unfortunately, he nursed heavily on Right Boob so it's always engorged and painful.

As engorgement fades, then arrives the agony of severely aggravated cracks and bleeding. Yeah!!!