Wednesday, 6 May 2009


I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my two little boys. I love them so much it hurts and aches and makes me crazy. I love them so much I want them to be inside me again like before they were born. I want to swallow them up and swing them around and squeeze them tight. I want to cuddle with them and croon to them, pat them to sleep and stroke their foreheads.

I want to shield them from hate and anger and greed, and give them the strength I don't have to never get hurt. How am I supposed to let them go, watch them suffer, and just stand by, knowing that it is the best thing a mother can do to support her children? How am I going to teach Sebastian that gentleness and sensitivity are strengths, when I know how much more suffering he will have to go through because of it, when I know that deep down, I am not sure whether I even believe that sensitivity is a worthwhile trait to have.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my two little boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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