already tired again

I went to pick up the kids yesterday after 3 days at my mother-in-law's place. It's been 24 hours, and I've already lost it again. They are yelling from the bedroom, it's almost 10pm, and all I want to do is yell at them at the top of my lungs and say mean things. I can barely take it anymore. And I am really worried. Where has my patience and my passion for being a good parent gone? And I am preggers with no. 3. I've lost all my desire and goodwill for parenting. Really. This sounds terrible, irrational, mean. But it's all I feel. I still love my kids. I look at them with awe. I love seeing the things they say and do, I am curious to know how they think, how they turn out, what they will like, love, be, as they grow. I just don't want to parent anymore. It's exhausting. I have no more patience. I want them to just grow up.

Ugh.