Sunday, 11 December 2011

3rd boy!!

Woe is me, I am having a third boy!!! All I ever wanted was a daughter. Many daughters. Create a family of sisters! And I am surrounded by boys and men. Woe is me! Why? What did I do to deserve this? To be a mother of boys after a lifetime of girls!!

Everyone tells me how lucky I am, that boys are easier, that I will be the queen, that boys are more affectionate, attached to their mothers, blablablabla. Bullshit. Sebastian may love me and cuddle me more, but Lucas is O*B*S*E*S*S*E*D with his father. Morbidly obsessed. He will never prefer me. Ever. For anything.

And I live in Italy. Italians version of boys' attachments to their mothers is not one that I want for my boys. It's pathetic. And I will not raise mamma's boys. For their sake and for mine. I have yet to see a mature relationship between a son and mother in this godforsaken country. So my efforts will mean that my boys will not treat me like a pre-wife (i.e., I will not be doing their laundry, cooking, etc.), but there are no role models for an adult relationship between son and mother. You know, like friendly, interesting. Hubby doesn't have one with his mother. And that is really the only model, right?

So, I am going to spend a lifetime of efforts raising 3 boys, and then ultimately, my relationship with them will depend on the women they find. They could marry someone like Margaret (hubby's bitch of a sister-in-law), in which case, I lose my boys. And if they grow up like hubby, they will rebel so completely, that I won't hear from them at all.

As for being easier... why is that? What is it about girls that is so difficult? Adolescent moodiness? What, do boys not go through puberty? Moody silences, wet dreams, power-hungry adrenaline sports? And boys don't confide in their mothers. And when you lose a boy, the stakes are higher: drugs, motorcycles, dropping out of school, computer games, violence. When you lose a girl, okay, she experiments a little and get pregnant. So? A new baby in the family. Girls are closer to their families, listen more, are more "fearful" therefore in general listen more to their parents.

Besides, I know girls. I know them well. I don't know boys. Even playing with them. Hubby comes up with the most interesting games. He'll know a billion ways to make the same old firetruck rescue game interesting, by changing the protagonist, adding a ladder, removing a truck, etc. I just sit there thinking, 'Now what?' And when I try to copy his ideas, I get totally BORED. I was always a girly, girl.

It's karma. I spent too many years man-bashing and a feminist. Now this role of motherhood forces me to fight for men and boys. Woe is me, I say, woe is me!!!!!!!!

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