Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Husband blues

Yes, once again, Tiziano is driving me nuts. Well, that makes it sound nicer than it is. I am going through a "why-did-I-marry-this-guy?" moment. It feels like we are roommates, not husband and wife. The only reason we stay to together, it feels, is because it is too complicated to separate. And of course, the kids need both parents.

We aren't fighting non-stop anymore - that period, in the Fall, was pure hell. Now it is just apathy, dislike, hidden resentment, boredom, annoyance.

I mean, I know, the passion is of the early years, is gone, of course. That is normal, apparently. But dislike? If it weren't for the extra set of hands to help around the house and with the kids, I actually prefer it when he isn't home. I like it when he does the night shift, and I can sleep by myself, be more relaxed in the morning, take things easily, without feeling like I have to work, work, work, please, please, please, appease, appease, appease.

Everything he does is important and special, "what a lucky woman I am to have such a great husband!" Everything I do, is simply expected and taken for granted. When I need to delegate something to him, I have to sweet-talk him as if I were asking him some great favour. Same with taking us out on the weekends, for a walk, out to eat, somewhere special.

Thankfully, my mother's arrived, and I actually have some company now. THough, of course, my mother comes with strings attached and some heavy baggage. But at least she is more interesting and fun.

Is this a Man/Woman Mars/Venus thing? Or is it simply that I have fallen out of love?

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