I missed my dear Sebastian's first Christmas party at school.
Yes, I am terrible. I feel terrible. I want sooooo much to see him sing with his classmates. I ache at the thought of him up there on stage, singing with pride.
And I missed it because I was napping with Lucas.
I can only reassure myself with the fact that he was oblivious to my absence. He didn't ask me why I didn't go. He seemed not even to care. It's as if he is aware how unimportant his school is, how illusory everything is. How fake it kind of is. It's as if he is an observant in the whole process. Like I am too I guess.
But still, it would have been so delicious to see him perform!
Next year, I will be able to see them both! Yeah!