anxiety

My gut's been fluttering and sending waves of anxiety through my body. I can barely take it anymore. I am waiting for bosses to respond to my request to go part-time next year. Ugh. It is so painful. This waiting. Wondering. Whining. Why-ing. I am paranoid. Big boss has been giving me the coldest vibes in the past few weeks, and am trying desperately not to take it personally.

Am I just scared? Or is this some intuition?

Then I have young colleagues who work for peanuts hovering like vultures asking me how long I plan to stay, how they'd like my job, blablabla. And all I can hope for is that bosses will do the right thing. I mean, why would they eliminate me for someone younger without a life who will work for almost nothing? What kind of business savvy would that show? I mean my work has never placed cutting costs over HR!

Oh shit.