I chose my job mostly because it is very stimulating and gives me a regular rush of adrenaline. I have a chronic case get-bored-quickitis) , and so I need a job that keeps me on my toes. The only problem is that I am now preggers, and that stuff ain't no good for baby!
With Sebastian, my water broke a month early probably due to intense stress (first year hazing in my new job, buying a house, moving, etc.). With Lucas, I spent most of the last trimester lounging at the lake. With Nicolas, I will have spent most of the second and third trimester working hard, taking care of two pre-schoolers, and dealing with the renovations on the house. Granted, I have a great work environment (I passed that toxic initiation from when I first started!), and I work part-time, and I can mostly do my job blind-folded...
BUT, I am really noticing the Braxton-Hicks contractions, my sensitivity to stress, and the flow of adrenaline through my body was almost palpable on departure day last October. I am entering into one of my busiest month of the year, as well as one of my last months of pregnancy.
And I need to stay calm.
Exactly. It's like telling the blind man to watch where he's going.
Apparently, stress and depression on pregnant women has a lasting effect on their babies in utero. In fact, doctors often think the damage of depression on the fetus far outweighs the potential side effects of anti-depressants. I am convinced that part of my high-strung, high-anxiety tendencies are due to the miserable time my mom had when preggers with me. It was aggravated by a messy divorce and lots of instability in early childhood, but it started in the womb.
Basically, I don't want to pump Nicolas with stress hormones and adrenaline just weeks before he's born. Who knows what nightmare of a colicky baby I'll end up with!
Breathe in, breathe out.... breathe in, breathe out....