After the torture of this past summer regarding Sebastian's nighttime sleep habits, I have reached a peace: I want to cultivate and nourish Sebastian's gentle side, his sensitivity, his affection, his general sweetness. Not stomp it out. Despite it being a potential source of future suffering (but really, it will be just a specific type of suffering, because no one escapes suffering all the time!), it is also a powerful source of change and beauty and hope. And I want - no NEED - to be proud of this and treat it like the rare, delicate flower that it is.
So the doubts are gone. He can come into our bed whenever he needs. If it takes another 3 years, so be it. When he grows up, he will have his loving childhood to comfort him in moments of darkness. If not the visual memory, then the emotional one.
Yes! I love it when I am sure of a parenting decision!