irony

Marriage is only useful for raising kids.

But kids is what ruins a marriage.

shitty weekend

I had a shitty weekend:

- I worked my butt off
- a boss micro-managed, created more work for me
- a colleague chewed me out in front of boss because of decisions I made in reaction to boss micro-managing
- another colleague chewed me out because she is a stress-pot
- I saw my kids very little
- I got very little sleep
- I fought with hubby about never being home

WTF? OMG!! FFS!!! (FFS stands for "For F**k's sake!)

Damned if you do, damned if you don't seems to take on fresh levels of meaning every year that goes by!

tomorrow's the big day

Tomorrow I talk with the powers that be about working part-time next year. I shouldn't even be nervous, because he will probably be all positive - but who knows what happens come contract time!

flirting

I flirted outrageously last week at a little get-together I happened upon after work.

(It was fun!)

(But dangerous!)

(No playing with fire!)

(Shhhhh!!!!)

new limits

I am reaching new limits regarding the amount I do and the hours of sleep I do without.

I think I am a superhero.

I am also quite humble.

It shows, doesn't it?

secret blog

I think I need to create a secret blog. One where I blow steam off and talk about all kinds of things that I don't actually want anyone I know to read.

Are you curious?

Muahahaaaa!

self-play, exploratory play

Yes, I have to ask - when the heck is it too much??? I never thought I would get prudish with my kids - I've heard too many horror stories of crazy/perverted/uptight/OCD people who were excessively repressed in their childhood, or were taught to be ashamed of their bodies, their sexuality, blah, blah, blah.

But I never really thought I would see one of my boys straddling one another and full-on humping each other in the bath.
Or one of them rubbing their wee-wee against the potty, giggling at his little erection.
Or having them tickle each other in their butts and wee-wees...
And wanting above all to play with mother's milk jugs when they are technically no longer milk jugs.

Yeah. I know. And there's more, but I won't get into the details.

There is no way in heck that I want my boys to think there is anything wrong with their beautiful little bodies, their beautiful little selves, inside OR out. Or them to think that the source of their food just a little while ago can now never be touched. But is there a point when I am supposed to say "No, you can't do that because it's wrong"?

And when Sebastian asks why?

bunkbeds, stage 1

So we bought a bunk bed. No, not so that the kids can sleep in them and we can free up some space in the minuscule baby room. But so my mom can sleep in there, and not on the floor.

Yup, still trying to find ways to get Sebastian to sleep in his room, alone in his bed, through the night, without waking up all the adults. This is stage 1 of the bunkbed era.

The idea, which I thought was brilliant, consists in having him sleep on one bed, having my mother on the other, Lucas in his crib. He would get used to having abuelita in the room with him - but not right beside him - that he would stop waking up at night, because he would just know that she was above him. Then, when she leaves, if he starts waking up again, either hubby or I could crawl INTO THE SINGLE BED - relieve his fears, but still get a good night's sleep. AND, the one who needs to wake up VERY early, could still do so without the risk of waking up one, then both, of the boys.

Up until abuelita started sleeping on the floor, basically, hubby and I would decide who had to leave early, and then that person would sleep in Sebastian's bed when he moved over to ours. BUT, inevitably, the early wake-up person sometimes would wake up Lucas, and the beginning of the end of the night would start.

So many details, so complex, and yet so simple.

And I still wonder whether we should even be trying to independent-ize Sebastian: if he needs to be sleeping with us, shouldn't we just let him????