grumpiness

I have come to a new conclusion - staying at home with the kids renders one grumpy, controlling, impatient, negative, annoying, along with a few other unflattering traits.

And how did I come to that conclusion, you ask? Lo and behold, after 4 days straight at home, that is exactly what I've become. For the past few days, I've blamed my grumpiness on pms, on being sick, on being tired. Today is day 2 of my period, I got lots of sleep, and after today's nap, I am almost free of my head cold. Yet tonight, I was Miss Grumpy and Miss Yeller.

I completely lost it with both of them tonight during bathtime. I got a call from a long-lost friend just as I put Lucas in the bath with oatmeal for his eczema. When finally Seb finishes his tv program and lounges his way over, I put him too in the now brown bathwater. He starts freaking out that there was caca, which I doubted. After checking with Lucas, of course, he concurred, and acknowledged that yes, he DID do caca in the bath.

AHHHH!!!!!!!!

So I get off the phone with long-lost friend, take them both out and my anger starts to escalate. WTF!?!?!? Lucas is nearly 2 1/2. He knows full well he's not supposed to poop in the bath. He knows how to say when he needs to go. So of all places!!! Then, when they are both out, and I am trying to drain and scrub the tub, Seb the princess starts to gag and cry, from the supposed smell (btw, there was no smell). He then proceeds to throw up, twice. In between throw-ups, he's yelling at Lucas to stay away, blablabla. I lose it on both of them. I am swearing and raging, and throwing things.

And this was the second time today I lost it that bad.

And then there are all the little scoldings, voice-raising, impatience, annoyances. Even with the simplest of actions, I get almost instantly frustrated if things don't go exactly my way. When something drops, when I make a mistake, when I have to go out of my way to change a plug, when things spill, I am a timebomb. With grumpiness and rage on the verge of spilling at the slightest provocation. And now I have eczema starting again.

I think I should not have a 3rd kid.