time-locked

I have 36 hours to myself. Nothing sounds more glorious or desirable. Yet, I am still a prisoner of the clock. For every appointment I have set for myself is preceded by the hours before it, thus limiting whatever small freedom I had.

I am sitting here waiting for hubby (*wink*, *wink*...), looking at the clock, and thinking how much time for a nap and a movie I will have after he leaves before heading to my 7:30pm spinning class.

Yesterday, I was “off” at 9:30am. And I had to actively relax. Breathe deeply in order to stop my mind and my body from stressing. Is it habit or compulsion? If it’s habit, how long will it take to kick it? Obviously 36 hours isn’t enough. And I think that if I learned to relax naturally, achieve a naturally relaxed state, my daily life will also be less stressful.

That’s what meditation is for. Duh.