Sponaneity

Non-existent when you have children.

I have always thrived on spontaneity. It was my drug in a drug-free existence. Nothing like last minute changes to last-minute plans to tempt destiny and flirt with fate! The excitement of predicting all the new and exciting things that could happen, of re-arranging in my head all the new and improved possible outcomes...

Well, that freedom drug can now be likened to antibiotics, with its adverse side-effects of nausea and anxiety. And since most of the spontaneous changes our outside of my hands, I start forming paranoid thoughts such as why now, why me, why that?!

I just got an email from my sister saying that her new flight leaves from Amsterdam at 6pm. Which means it arrives at 7:40pm. So I re-arranged my entire afternoon around her mid-morning arrival, and now I can't re-arrange it back, which means I have to take time off work for NOTHING. I have to pick up Sebastian, go home to meet the priest, and then I still have to drive super far to pick her up tonight.

UGH.

I need stone to set things into.