Yes, I have been royally dissed once again at work.
It seems that sweet-talking socialites that suck up to some key jerks at my workplace get privileges that override those of us who have too much integrity to play a part in the farce. Why bother feigning fairness, transparency, value if when at the end of the day, politics continue to determine the bosses' decisions.
Fuck it. The seed of anger and bitterness that I have boycotted since my arrival at T***S has been planted, and there is plenty of rain and sun for it flourish.
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
marriage blues...
...again.
Is it too much to ask your husband to give you 5 minutes from his precious TV time when you get back from work?
Apparently it is. And once again, we fight.
Is it too much to ask your husband to give you 5 minutes from his precious TV time when you get back from work?
Apparently it is. And once again, we fight.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
bowel movements
I couldn't believe my eyes: tonight, Lucas, standing up diaper-less, pooping, right onto the carpet. 'WTF!' you exclaim. And I concur.
He had been saying, "caca" for a few minutes, and went into his room and lay down. Bravo. I took his diaper off, and there was nothing. 'Okay,' I thought, 'must have just been some gas.' He got up and ran to the living room, swaggering and showing off his bum-bum, much to the glee of Sebastian. This went on for a few minutes, and I took the respite from the kids' attention to put away some toys.
When I go into the living room, I see Lucas do his concentrating caca face, and watched in disbelief as he relieved himself onto the carpet, very nonchalantly, as if I had spent weeks training him to go potty in the living room!
Of course, his big bro, who can't stand the smell even of his own poop (when Seb goes to the potty, he has to have a glass of water to help offset the smell, and then we have to flush as soon as he hears the splash...), starting gagging and crying, threatening to add 3-yr-old throw-up to the bounty.
Yes, the situation worsened: when Lucas went running back to his room to lay down (so his highness could have his butt cleaned), he went excitedly grabbing his bum, spreading the batter. Then, almost as if on purpose, he sits down with just the perfect movement so that he could wipe the greatest area of his poopy butt onto the bedroom carpet.
Just a day in the life...
He had been saying, "caca" for a few minutes, and went into his room and lay down. Bravo. I took his diaper off, and there was nothing. 'Okay,' I thought, 'must have just been some gas.' He got up and ran to the living room, swaggering and showing off his bum-bum, much to the glee of Sebastian. This went on for a few minutes, and I took the respite from the kids' attention to put away some toys.
When I go into the living room, I see Lucas do his concentrating caca face, and watched in disbelief as he relieved himself onto the carpet, very nonchalantly, as if I had spent weeks training him to go potty in the living room!
Of course, his big bro, who can't stand the smell even of his own poop (when Seb goes to the potty, he has to have a glass of water to help offset the smell, and then we have to flush as soon as he hears the splash...), starting gagging and crying, threatening to add 3-yr-old throw-up to the bounty.
Yes, the situation worsened: when Lucas went running back to his room to lay down (so his highness could have his butt cleaned), he went excitedly grabbing his bum, spreading the batter. Then, almost as if on purpose, he sits down with just the perfect movement so that he could wipe the greatest area of his poopy butt onto the bedroom carpet.
Just a day in the life...
Thursday, 18 March 2010
familial altruism
Nothing more altruistic than buying a Father's Day present to your children's father when you are not feeling kindly towards him. I am still recuperating from that stupid (outlandishly exaggerated) fight we had on Tuesday, and still feel very little goodwill toward hubby. So I felt the halo hovering above me today when I decided to actually acknowledge Father's day tomorrow by getting hubby a gift.
The truth seeped out in the card, though. I just wrote "Happy Father's Day! You're doing a great job!" in it. I wonder if he could tell it was a little cooler than the usual mush I write him. Probably not at all.
The truth seeped out in the card, though. I just wrote "Happy Father's Day! You're doing a great job!" in it. I wonder if he could tell it was a little cooler than the usual mush I write him. Probably not at all.
Sunday, 14 March 2010
growing up by the lake
Today, I went to the windsurf school with the kids for the first time this season. This unchanging context highlighted just how much Sebastian has grown in the past year, how much more he is able to do, how much more independent he is. He is a real little boy, now. No more baby. No more toddler even. A boy exploring the rocky beach of Lago Maggiore.
The Lake and the windsurf school will be the perfect backdrop to their lives. Their summer routine of Pino, Montreal, Pino will fill their childhoods with memorable moments, smells, feelings. I am so happy for them!!
The Lake and the windsurf school will be the perfect backdrop to their lives. Their summer routine of Pino, Montreal, Pino will fill their childhoods with memorable moments, smells, feelings. I am so happy for them!!
unravelling
So my kids are sick. And yesterday, Tiziano was sick too. And I just can't kick this profound exhaustion I am feeling. I sometimes feel like I am unraveling, that nothing is real, that my breath is just being fueled by anxious energy. I want to say that it couldn't get any worse. But of course it could. I am one of the lucky ones. Things could get REALLY, REALLY worse. Then I would look back and think that these were the lucky years.
I also don't have any drive or inspiration. Everything seems pointless, and I don't remember what it feels like to care about things. This is mainly a feeling I have about work, but I also feel it towards relationships, and towards any additional teaching or experiences I could expose my kids to.
Am I on the verge of a nervous breakdown? The mild nausea, palpitations, bad circulation, losing sensation in my feet when I go spinning...
I need a vacation.
I also don't have any drive or inspiration. Everything seems pointless, and I don't remember what it feels like to care about things. This is mainly a feeling I have about work, but I also feel it towards relationships, and towards any additional teaching or experiences I could expose my kids to.
Am I on the verge of a nervous breakdown? The mild nausea, palpitations, bad circulation, losing sensation in my feet when I go spinning...
I need a vacation.
sneaky brats
No, not my kids. The brats who come into the library late, or come on time, then try to sneak out. Ha! You think I was born yesterday? Yup, I am of the age when I say the same shit that mothers the world over say.
I was a teenager too, once upon a time, and I remember that life revolved around getting and doing things that no adult could find out about. Because adults just don't understand. Oh the conspiracy!
I was a teenager too, once upon a time, and I remember that life revolved around getting and doing things that no adult could find out about. Because adults just don't understand. Oh the conspiracy!
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